I will always have my challenges. Sometimes there is a silent voice inside me screaming "hear me, I'm hurting". When I was in my darkest of days the silent voice would be so distressful and powerful. It would take every ounce of my energy to keep me from lashing out in the dangerous ways I saw in my mind's eye. I felt invisible. I felt hurt by the system. I felt my pain was invisible to everyone. I felt no one cared unless I did something drastic. Perhaps that is why people commit some of these senseless or dangerous acts? The silence and invisibility is sometimes just too much to bear.
I'm not in anyway implying that all person's with a mental illness have a tendency towards violent or dangerous acts. What I am saying is, perhaps we as a society should begin to learn to hear the painful silence and invisibility that people with mental illness can sometimes feel inside. There is no recovery from mental illness. Our medications can manage our symptoms. Our illness is always with us. It has a "ubiquitous nature" to it. It creeps into every part of our lives and stays with us. It is a constant fluid companion. We build and create new lives with the illness affecting us in various ways at different stages of our lives. It effects us at different times of the seasons, various times of the day and even towards different stimuli. We learn who we are and what our illness is. We can become whole again but the "screaming silence and invisibility" will always be there until society learns to listen to us and see that we are still hurting and living with an illness.