My mind fought to find a way in which I could exist. It searched through the dark corners of my mind and reached into the memories of my childhood. It found the peace and comfort I so desperately needed. My mind returned to my father’s house. Back to the 1970’s. This was a time in my life before my mental illness set in. I was happy.
I began daydreaming about my life when I was a young child in my father’s home. I would scourer the internet for old commercials, shows and tidbits from the 1970’s. These would give me comfort and allow me to escape the emotions of my current life. I became melancholy for those days. Wishing I could somehow return in time.
Perhaps this gave my mind time to heal from the years of pain and trauma. It was like wrapping myself in an old comforter and sipping tea allowing the hurt to soften.
Who knows exactly why my mind slipped back in time. That time in life was a safety net for me. In time, I found the strength to face the present. I don’t judge the path I took to get me where I am now all that matters is that I have arrived.